There is a delicate relationship between drug users, their drug of choice and reality. This comes from somewhat of a personal experience with drugs, and the reason I and so many others got caught up in what at first seemed a glamorous and exciting world. Everyone has their reasons for trying a drug (or alcohol) for the first time. I was surrounded by friends who enjoyed going to middle of the night or early morning dance parties at a variety of locations around the city, and with the music, lights, friends and general atmosphere it was hard to say no to a little pill with a Mazda car company logo on it. Back then the drugs of choice for party-goers were Ecstasy (Now known as “Molly”) and speed, or amphetamines. The ecstasy was what one took to just get lost in the evening. At the time my grades were poor, I wasn’t working and my family was having problems. One tiny pill of ecstasy was enough to get me lost in bliss for five, ten even twelve hours. Every problem lay forgotten, until of course the inevitable “come down” arrived which was enough to drive me into a serious, although brief, depression and a disgusting sense of dirtiness and paranoia set in for at least a day. The relationship with speed was a similar one. It too offered an escape that was a scarce find those days. It could keep my friends and I dancing and worry free for even longer than the ecstasy, but the days following our late night escapades were so dreary and sad that eventually it just had to stop. It was an equation like any other. If I took speed, I’d have an entire night of fun and pleasure, but the price was two to three days of absolute misery and illness. If anyone can do the math, they’d come to the conclusion that I was making a bad deal with drugs and their consequences.
The truth about drugs is a tough one to digest, especially when trying to explain them to people who have rarely tried them or have simply always said no when offered. I’m going to be as blunt as possible and tell anyone reading this that drugs make you feel amazing. The euphoria and worry free high that a single pill of MDMA or ecstasy can provide is an experience that a non-user could never understand. It beats drinking, it beats that first cigarette in the morning, it beats video games, laughter and for some even love and sex. We all ask ourselves when we find out that one of our friends does drugs; “Why the hell would he or she touch that crap?” Well it feels awesome, that’s why, and it offers users a few hours of ignorance to the rest of the world and to their lives that may be screwed up so significantly that a synthetic substance designed to flood your brain with certain chemicals starts to sound very inviting indeed.
Let me set something straight. Drugs are bad. The relief from reality they provide is minimal, and the prolonged use of them can have serious health consequences and after years of relying on a drug of choice for happiness and escape the user will eventually realize that it isn’t about the escape anymore, but rather it’s become something that is no longer a mask of a sad life, but a contributing factor to a life that was never fixed because the temporary highs were unable to solve the very problems that drove me and others to taking them in the first place. But you have to understand that people don’t take drugs with the intention of relying on them for the rest of their lives, or relying on them to fix their lives. They take drugs because they are fun, they take drugs because they take pain, suffering and responsibility out of the realm of reality for a few blissful hours. It’s the equivalent to patching a whole in the roof, or, if you can believe it, procrastinating, but instead of putting off work or leaving an important essay for school to the last minute, myself and other former drug users are procrastinating on life itself. For a few hours every week we self-medicated in order to not have to deal with the real issues going on, and when the lure of the drug starts to become it’s own medicine, meaning the very idea of getting your next dose is what forces you through the day, I realized that it had to stop. Luckily for me, I only ever used drugs on the weekends, and when I removed myself from that all-night-party environment I was able to take a step back from that life and started to move on. I realized that a few hours of excitement and escape was not worth the following few days of depression and anxiety. I realized that an escape is like a vacation to a paradise location, and that if I decided to pack up and leave reality behind to escape forever I’d never be able to come back and enjoy the life I once cherished.
